Mash
by Swinging Cloud
Summary: Fill for the GKM. "Santana's a thousand percent sure that she's heard the Monster Mash at least five times at this party, and she can't stop giggling." Brittana. #DUBSPOOK!
1. The Dynamic Duo

**Warnings:** There is no sex in this first chapter; but because of the prompt, Brittana will be having **anal** sex in costume. So. Look for that in the second chapter. If that's not your thing, well. You can still enjoy the party shenanigans leading up to the sex! :D

**A/N:** HI EVERYONE! And welcome to **THE BRITTANA FANDOM'S SPOOKTACULAR TOUCH-A-TOUCH ME DIRTY FICTION DOUBLE FEATURE!** Hahaha. Thanks for joining me, and the rest of the talented authors who participated/are participating in the project.

If you missed any of the stories, I will be posting a master post on my tumblr (**xandylytex**) after Halloween, but so far, my dear Dakota (**PerfectlyCensored**) wrote **Afterimage**, my buddy Gambit (**LoneGambit**) wrote **Coming Out Of My Shell**, and my dear friend Ducks (**BetTheDuckIsInTheHat**) wrote **The Friendly Werewolf and The Wicked Witch**. We still have a few more stories to go, though, before Halloween, so keep checking the #**DUBSPOOK** tag on tumblr! :D

And now! I present to you, this story! XD

Enjoy~

* * *

Santana has always liked Halloween. Let's face it- _Mean Girls_ wasn't kidding when it said the holiday is an excuse for girls to dress up like slutty animals (like they _need_ an excuse), and what self-respecting lesbian wouldn't enjoy that? Even one in the closet?

Usually, Santana loves watching Brittany get dressed up in some sexy form of uncommon animal- like a fox or a panda- so she can perv on her without being completely obvious about it, but this year, her feelings are a little different. They're together now- like, _together_ together. Dating. _Officially_. And she's been feeling a lot more protective and shy, especially after her public outing by Finn. She's not used to being able to show her affection for Brittany in public, despite the support of their friends. But now that she can officially call Brittany hers, she doesn't want anyone else perving on her girlfriend.

Brittany is usually a sex goddess for Halloween, but this year, her blonde girlfriend had decided that, since they are dating, their costumes should match a little more than they have in the past. Once she found out Blaine and Kurt were going as Snooki and The Situation, she knew they needed to have the ultimate matching costumes to outdo them. So she decided they were going to go as a team.

And not just _any_ team. The _ultimate_ team.

"Well, hello- _Batman _and _Robin_," Rachel says cheerfully in a heavy Southern accent, giving them, an exaggerated wink as she opens the front door. Brittany strikes a heroic pose, hands on hips, and Santana tries to hide behind Brittany's cape. Her stomach twists- this is _really_ _happening_. They're here. At Berry's house. In their costumes. Ever since Sam had told Brittany he was going as the world's biggest-lipped version of Captain America, Brittany had decided they should go as superheroes, too- but the _originals_, because _they are the most authentic, San._

Santana's not sure why she allowed Brittany to talk her into being Robin _from the 60s_. She doesn't find it very sensible to fight crime without pants. Her bare legs are freezing- not to mention there's a draft heading up under her outfit. She wraps her cape around herself tightly, feeling like a vampire (why couldn't they have gone as vampires? Brittany would look totally hot with those teeth) and peeks over Brittany's shoulder to see Rachel's costume.

Berry's dressed as some type of woman. "Do you like it?" she says in her exaggerated Southern accent. "I made it myself out of a curtain!"

"Who even are you?" Brittany asks in a terrible impression of Batman's voice.

Rachel looks offended and huffs, stamping her foot. "I'm Scarlett O'Hara!"

"Is that The Black Widow's sister?"

"She's from _Gone With the Wind_!"

"Well maybe she should've actually left," Santana mutters, rolling her eyes behind her mask as she follows Brittany past Rachel and inside, sticking close to her long, flowing black cape to stay mostly hidden. Rachel drones on about refreshments and the house rules but Santana mostly tunes her out as they make their way downstairs to the basement, where the rest of the Glee kids are. Santana feels her stomach twisting tighter with nervousness as they reach the rest of the group, and she shrinks down even further behind Brittany as they make their grand entrance.

Santana takes in the atmosphere of the basement, which looks completely different from the last time she was here, and rolls her eyes again as she realizes that Berry has _Monster Mash_ playing. Like, she _actually_ made a playlist for the party. She looks around at the fake spiderwebs, the orange-and-black banner with creepy letters telling her to have a _HAPPY HALLOWEEN, _the jack-o-lantern lights strung across the hallway, and the tiny ghosties made out of what looks like white napkins dangling in random places from the ceiling. Berry really went all out. It's kind of lame, and kind of awesome.

"Cool costume, Britt!" Sam says as he approaches, the first to greet them. His Captain America costume doesn't look nearly as good as her and Brittany's costumes. Santana doesn't know whether to be mortified or proud.

Brittany grabs Sam's arm and yanks him closer, lowering her voice conspiratorially as she asks, "How did you know my secret identity?"

Sam apologizes, and Santana feels her heart thump with adoration at how cute Brittany's being. She really, really loves her- the fact that she's not wearing any pants proves it. She's dressed as a superhero that she knows almost nothing about, and not only that, but her costume matches Brittany's. Like a couple. An _official_ couple. Her stomach twists tighter.

It takes her a minute to notice that Sam has a shadow, and she glances to his right to see Rory in something green. _What a surprise._

"You're supposed to dress up for Halloween," Brittany points out.

"I did," Rory says in his thick, almost unintelligible accent, seeming mildly disappointed.

"Well then who the fuck are you?" Santana asks, raising an eyebrow beneath her mask. "Lucky the Leprechaun?"

"He's the Green Lantern," Sam explains.

"I have no idea who that is," Brittany deadpans, and Rory deflates a little.

"Wow, you guys look great!" Mercedes calls from over by the couch arm, and as she looks, Santana has to admit, Wheezy looks pretty good. She's dressed as Queen Cleopatra, and the flowing dress and crown really match her personality.

"You look good, too," Santana nods.

"Yeah, your Aphrodite costume looks really authentic," Brittany says with a nod.

Mercedes gives Brittany a look, cocking her eyebrow. "But I'm not-"

"Hey guys," Blaine says as he and Kurt shimmy over to them. The lights are down low, but there's enough to bounce off of Blaine's sunglasses and the costumes of their other friends, who are gathered over by the stage, swaying and shuffling lamely to the spooky music. Santana takes a moment to look over Kurt and Blaine's costumes; they look even more embarrassing than she does, and she feels marginally better.

"Why Robin?" Kurt asks curiously, scanning her costume and gesturing with a wave. Santana has the sudden urge to cover her junk- or lack of junk- with her hands as Kurt fiddles with his black wig.

"Yeah, why not Catwoman?" Blaine chimes in, still swaying back and forth to the _Monster Mash_. The song must be on repeat. Or just really, really long.

Santana opens her mouth to answer, then promptly shuts it. Why _not_ Catwoman? She could've totally pulled that off, looked way hotter, and wait a minute, now that she's thinking it, didn't Batman and Catwoman have a much more _obvious_ steamy romance than-

But Brittany cuts off her train of thought, quipping, "Easier access."

And then she playfully slaps Santana's ass.

Kurt's eyes widen and Santana looks embarrassed, but Brittany goes on seriously while Santana dies on the spot, "I looked at those Catwoman suits and they're impossible to _get out of_. Besides, Catwoman isn't around for very long in the series, and Robin sticks by Batman's side _forever_-"

"I need a drink," Santana mutters, her cheeks flaming red underneath her dark complexion. She shifts nervously in her tiny, green pixie boots.

"Good idea, Robin," Brittany says cheerfully, snapping back into character. She points dramatically. "To the bar!"

Santana's grateful to exit the awkward conversation as they head to the small- _miniature_, really- kitchen connected to the room. On the counter there's a huge cauldron-shaped bowl of something that apparently has dry ice in it because it's got more fog bubbling out of it than one of Coach Sylvester's personal fog machines. There's more little dangly lights, only this time, they're in the shape of skulls; plastic bats float on little strings from the ceiling, blowing around with the air currents in the room.

A huge, tacky poster of a vampire adorns the wall next to the mini fridge, and next to the cauldron of what she guesses is Hunch Punch are various treats. Candy corn and assorted chocolates- the good kind, with Snickers, 3 Musketeers, and Milky Way- fill up randomly sized bowls decorated with bats and pumpkins. A glass baking pan contains the traditional Dirt Pie, complete with little gummi worms and Santana can't help but roll her eyes again (though secretly she wishes she'd have thought of making it herself.)

As Brittany gets her a cup, and uses a ladle that looks like a bone to scoop some punch into it, Tina and Mike, dressed as something Santana vaguely recognizes, sidle up to her.

"Nice costume," Tina says. "Robin's classic."

Santana nods. "And you- uh, too. Your costume- great. Uh-"

"I'm Kitana from _Mortal Kombat_," Tina says, rolling her eyes. She points to Mike. "And he's Scorpion."

"Ohhhh," Santana says with a slow _duh_ nod. She remembers watching Puck play video games back when she was dating him years ago, though it seems like a lifetime ago.

"You must reaaaally like her," Tina comments.

Instantly defensive, Santana glares. "Why do you say that?"

Tina grins- or at least, Santana thinks she does. Her mouth is covered with a blue cloth so it's kind of hard to tell. "Calm down. I was just saying it because you're not wearing _pants_. I doubt you'd dress up like that for someone you didn't really, really like."

Santana's shoulders droop and she lowers her hackles, sighing. She smiles shyly. "Yeah, I really, really do." Mike crosses his arms but remains silent, and then Tina rolls her eyes.

"Don't mind him. He's just really into character."

"I know the feeling," Santana mutters, but then Brittany's thrusting a cup into her hand.

"Here," she says, still doing her Batman impersonation and Santana lifts a meaningful eyebrow at Tina as if to say _See?_

Tina shakes her head a little and Santana focuses her attention on the cup of reddish-purplish liquid in her hand. She sniffs it. It smells sweet, so she takes a sip and is pleasantly surprised. She can't taste the alcohol. This could wind up being really good, or really, really bad.

"Wait," Brittany says, and she digs into her utility belt. Santana watches in shock as she produces a small bottle of alcohol, unscrews the top, and pours it into Santana's cup. She grins cheekily.

"Bri- I mean, _Batman_," she corrects herself, knowing how upset Brittany gets when she forgets, "where the hell did you get that?"

Smiling mysteriously, Brittany gives a little shrug. "The true crimefighter always carries everything he needs in his utility belt, Robin."

Santana shakes her head in wonder, her heart thumping madly at her adorable girlfriend and how stupid in love she is. She takes a huge sip of her punch, and this time, the alcohol burns her throat on the way down. She comes up hacking, completely unprepared, and Tina pats her on the back as Puck, in a Jedi costume, complete with a lightsaber tucked into his belt, grabs Brittany.

"Yo, B-man, we're about to start up a game of Pong, and I could totally use your legendary skills on my team."

Straightening up into another heroic pose, Brittany says, "Sounds serious. Come, Robin! To the Pong table!" She flourishes her cape in a sweep behind her and follows Obi Wan Puckerman, who's patting her back enthusiastically crowing about a win, to the center of the room, where a long table has been set up with cups in formation. Shrugging, Santana follows as Brittany and Puck square off against Finn, who's also dressed as a Jedi, and Arty, whose wheelchair has been modified to look like a Transformer. Santana stares at the boxy cardboard and the red and blue colors, and realizes, not for the first time, that most of her friends are complete nerds.

Does that make her a nerd, too? She looks down at herself, dressed as a superhero, and decides that, _yes,_ she actually is. The thought is terrifying, so she counteracts it by gulping down the rest of her cup of punch.

And then Brittany's punch, since she's currently involved in her game of Pong.

And then, what the hell, she finishes off Tina's punch, too. It's not like _she_ was drinking it. She's wearing a blue bandana around her face, for fuck's sake.

After so much punch, Santana's feeling a lot better about not wearing pants. And warmer. She feels giggly and cheers as Brittany makes a perfect throw and Finn has to chug a beer. She's got a good, happy buzz going, and even though she's not completely comfortable, she's at least not as edgy as she was. The _Monster Mash_ is playing again, but she's not sure it ever stopped. She can't remember a single other song she's heard since arriving, so maybe Berry made an entire CD of just one song. She giggles again at the thought- she honestly wouldn't put it past her- and watches as Brittany dominates her opponents; as the game heats up, some more of their friends come over to spectate, including Snooki and The Situation.

Santana hasn't missed the way Sam keeps sending longing glances in Queen Mercedes' direction. Mercedes is still dating Shane, even though she didn't bring him to the party. Santana wonders why, but she doesn't wonder too long. She's too distracted watching Brittany make her throws, gloat when Finn misses, and chug down her cup of beer when Arty sinks a ball. She and Obi Wan Puckerman exchange high-fives, cheer, and carry on, and Captain Sam-erica along with the Green Rory and Ki-Tina offer up words of encouragement.

"Sink this one, B!" Puck yells, swaying on his feet. He's obviously been playing for a while. There's one cup left on Finn and Arty's side, and it's at a weird angle.

Feeling silly, Santana says, "That's an impossible shot, Batman!"

Brittany turns and offers her a wry grin. "That's a negative attitude, Robin." Santana laughs, and Brittany narrows her eyes in concentration. She brings the ball up to her face as if she's praying and then, looking perfect and graceful, she swings her arm and throws.

The white ball lands with a soft plop straight into the cup, and Finn's mouth draws open while Puck hollers victory.

"Holy incredible throw, Batman!" Santana exclaims, pumping her green-gloved fist into the air. Brittany gives her a high-five and they kiss, their masks smushing together awkwardly.

"I don't know why, but I'm strangely turned on right now," Arty says from across the table, watching them kiss. Santana shoots him the finger, and then Puck's pulling Brittany away and into a big, drunk hug.

"Some things never change," Quinn's voice says from beside her, and Santana turns to take her in. Quinn is dressed as some type of jester- she _thinks_?- and even though Santana has no clue who she is, she has to admit the blonde looks really good in the skintight black-and-red spandex.

"What?" Quinn asks defensively in response to Santana's blank stare. "I'm Harley Quinn."

Santana blinks. She has no idea who that is.

"From _Batman_- you know, you really should educate yourself if you're going to be Robin, S," Quinn snaps with a teasing smile.

"I'm only Robin for Britt's sake," Santana sulks, crossing her arms.

Quinn rolls her eyes. "Uh-huh. Well, B told me her idea to go as Batman, so I figured, what the hell- Unholy Trinity, right?"

Santana smiles and nods. Joining the Troubletones with Mercedes, along with Quinn's crazy at the beginning of the year, had really driven a rift between them, but she's glad that Quinn's offer to rejoin New Directions was made genuinely and not just because they needed her amazing voice. Quinn's been her best friend for a long time, and she can't help feeling warm and fuzzy inside at the idea of that friendship remaining despite all they'd been through and put each other through.

Loud laughing draws Santana's attention back to Brittany, who's doing some very embarrassing-looking fight moves against Mike, who's growling, "Get _OVER_ here!" and Santana covers her eyes with her hand.

"I think I need another drink."

"I can see why," Quinn giggles.

Santana sighs.

* * *

**Hahah Batman and Robin… claaaassic. XD Whoever came up with this prompt on the GKM, I must say- genius! ;)**

** Well, review if you feel like it, and tell me what you thought of everyone's costumes. XD**

**If you don't want to, that's okay, I'll just catch you next time. Look for the second part of this riveting story (lolololol)which will contain more silly party antics and of course, all of the smut, hopefully tomorrow! **


	2. Monster Mash

**Warning:** This part contains **anal** with a strap-on, but I tried not to make it too gross or graphic. In any case, it that's not your thing, then, you know. You can read up to that part. I guess. D:

**A/N:** As promised, we're back for round two of my submission for **THE BRITTANA FANDOM'S SPOOKTACULAR TOUCH-A-TOUCH ME DIRTY FICTION DOUBLE FEATURE**! I'm glad you all are enjoying the story! XD

In case you missed it last night, my good friend J (**ishIheard2day**) dropped the second part of her Halloween fic, **Who Knew? We Could Be Cheerful** so make sure you check out that awesomeness, as well! :D

Still more stories to come, lol, so for all the smutty Halloween goodness, check the #**DUBSPOOK** tag on tumblr, or wait for the Master Post after Halloween under the same tag! :D

And I just want to say thanks to all the authors who participated in the project! You guys are awesome! I also want to say thanks to everyone reading! You guys are why we write, so keep being amazing! :D

And now, part two! :B

* * *

**Three More Rotations of **_**Monster Mash**_** Later…**

Santana's feeling good. _Really_ good. She's sitting on Brittany's lap on the couch, still not wearing pants. She's not so worried about the whole pants thing anymore, and she's actually feeling pretty comfortable being affectionate with Brittany. No one at the party seems to care, which she already knew, but it's different now that they're outside of school and in the real world. Well, as real as a Berry House Party can be.

Scarlet O'Berry, herself, is in the center of the room, fanning her face with something that looks like a lacy paddle, and arguing with Queen Mercedes about what game they ought to play next. _Spin the Bottle_ is so last year, but all of Rachel's suggestions for games like _Trivial Pursuit_ and _Scrabble_ are rejected loudly by their gathered friends.

It's not until Sugar makes an appearance, dressed in some sort of pants suit, that the arguing stops so that everyone can process her costume.

"Sorry I'm late," she apologizes with a flourish of her hands. "Daddy wanted to show me off at one of his cigar parties."

"And just who the hell are you supposed to be?" Tina asks, flipping out her fan. Beside her, Mike nods silently.

"I'm Oprah. _Duh_."

It's silent for three whole seconds as everyone contemplates how incredibly fucked up and weird Sugar is, and then Rachel's back to arguing with Mercedes. Santana takes the moment to look around, and notices that Joe is at the party, and probably has been for the entire night. She's not sure what his costume is, but she finally decides that he must be Jesus. Or maybe one of Jesus' disciples. Maybe Peter or Paul or okay, like she remembers their names? Or even cares?

She brings her attention back to Brittany, who's stroking her hand down her bare thigh, and Santana hums in pleasure at the feel of her fingertips softly grazing her skin. She settles back against Brittany, laying her head on her shoulder, and just enjoys her buzz- which is a lot stronger now- and the amusement of watching Rachel struggle to justify why playing _Scattergories_ is a good idea.

It's not until Brittany interrupts in her clear, commanding Batman voice, that Santana really notices what's being said.

"So, Rachel- where do your dads keep their lube?"

Again, dead silence while Rachel's mouth falls open in shock. Puck smirks and Finn laughs. Quinn covers her mouth to hide her smile and Mercedes shoots Brittany an _Are you crazy?_ look.

Santana pretty much wishes she could die. "Britt! You _can't ask that_."

She wraps Brittany's cape around her bare legs- around her whole body, really- like a silky black cocoon and ducks her head down, hiding behind the fabric. Is it possible to die of embarrassment?

"Whaaaat? It's a legit question!" Brittany argues playfully. Everyone gives Rachel a look, putting her on the spot, and she closes her mouth and straightens out her dress nervously.

Rachel finally decides to avoid the question altogether. "A-anyways, I have an exciting game of _Celebrity_ planned, and-"

"That sounds terrifying," Brittany interrupts, her voice monotonous.

"Holy gay Berry," Santana agrees.

"It sounds like it blows," Puck sneers, crossing his arms.

"Well then what would you rather play?" Rachel demands, glaring at him, and everyone's pleasantly surprised when Sugar yells,

"Flip Cup!"

Excitedly, Brittany pumps her gloved fist in the air. "Robin and I are Flip Cup CHAMPIONS!"

Santana swallows nervously. More drinking? Probably not a good- "Bri- I mean, _Batman_- I really don't think-"

"Let's go!" Finn shouts, and everyone is a blur of motion.

Quinn pats Santana on the back in sympathy.

* * *

**Five More Rotations of **_**Monster Mash**_** Later**

"Chug it, Robin!" Sugar screams from down the line. It's the girls- plus Snooki- versus the boys, and Santana's the last one on the long line of them, trying to outdrink Puck, who's still drunkenly attempting to flip his cup. She drinks so fast, punch drips down her chin, but no _way_ is she going to look like a loser.

When Santana slams her cup down on the table in triumph, the girls erupt into cheers, and Brittany smacks her ass again, causing her to giggle.

"WOOO HOO! That's my _boy_!" Brittany cheers, and they share a slightly sloppy victory kiss, their masks smashing together awkwardly, and Santana wishes she could just take hers off. It's hot, and she thinks it might be giving her a headache. Or maybe that's just the copious amounts of alcohol she's consumed. Who cares?

"Batman and Robin tooootally had it going on," Santana slurs. The world is starting to become just a little bit fuzzy around the edges, and she knows she's definitely swaying on her feet. But she feels awesome. She feels invincible. Like a _real_ superhero.

Brittany nods lazily beside her. "They totally did. Like _POW_!" she says, punching her fist out dramatically.

Laughing hysterically, Santana kicks her foot up. "_ZING_!"

They dissolve into a fit of giggling, making more sound effects (_SOCK! BLAP! BIFF!_) while everyone stares.

"That's… kind of disturbing," Sam says. "Robin's like, _twelve_-"

"Pssh, Sam," Brittany giggles. "Don't be silly."

"But really, though," Arty adds seriously. Brittany just waves him off as she kisses Santana's cheek.

The _Monster Mash_ starts up again, and Santana's a thousand percent sure now that she's heard the song at least five times- not that she's _counting_- but she can't stop laughing as she grabs Brittany's gloved hand in her own.

"I love this song!" she slurs, and Rachel looks appropriately shocked nearby. "B, dance with me!"

"Okay," Brittany giggles and Santana tugs her over to the area in front of the stage, where they proceed to dance sloppily with each other.

If she could see herself, Santana would probably be embarrassed by the dance moves coming out of her. She's doing something that looks like a cross between Tai-Bo and a witch casting spells around a cauldron. But she doesn't care, she's having more fun than she ever thought possible at a Berry party, and being here _with Brittany_, as her official girlfriend for the first time, makes all of it that much better.

Even though she still doesn't have any pants.

"It was a graveyard _SMASH_!" Santana screams, swinging her fist. Brittany laughs beside her, and then Santana falls against her, giggling.

"I take it you two are having fun," Kurt comments from beside them as he dances next to Blaine.

Brittany pauses, reaches into her utility belt, and pulls out a glow-in-the-dark condom. Carefully, she places the square package in Kurt's hand, closing his fist around it and nodding. Kurt's eyes practically bug out of his head, and Santana doesn't even have the inhibitions to be embarrassed anymore. She just laughs.

Blaine chuckles nervously and Brittany smiles at them. "Batman's big on safety," she says with a wink, and Santana nods in agreement, her head wobbling from how completely _wasted_ she is.

"So is Robin, The Boy Wonder!" Santana says far too loudly, considering Kurt is standing right next to her.

"Thanks, guys," Kurt says unsurely, wandering away quickly as Brittany grabs Santana's hips and tugs her close, and their dancing suddenly gets a lot more sexual.

Over Brittany's shoulder, Santana spies Joe and she laughs loudly.

"Are you Simon?" she asks.

Joe just looks confused, but then Brittany grinds her hips against her and Santana forgets to care.

* * *

**Nine More Rotations of **_**Monster Mash**_** Later**

Five cups of punch, three Jell-O shots, and a body shot off of Brittany's neck under her utility belt, and she's straddling Brittany's lap as they make out pretty heavily on the couch. Brittany's got her hands on her ass, and Santana's feeling like she's floating. Her stomach coils tightly as Brittany pulls her against her, and she can feel for the first time that Brittany's _packing_, and suddenly she really wants all up in those black tiny shorts she's wearing.

Brittany sucks on her neck, and she leans her head back, exposing more of her throat to Brittany's eager mouth. She moans softly, grinding her hips against her blonde girlfriend, and rubs her hands over Brittany's chest, palming her breasts through her gray spandex outfit.

"Mm, you feel so good," Brittany groans into her neck.

"Yeah?" Santana breathes into her ear. "I'm gonna fuck you so hard, B."

"Right now?" Brittany asks playfully.

Santana nibbles on her ear. "Mmhm," she purrs. "You look so good in your costume."

"I mean, I wouldn't mind, but I think our friends might…"

Santana freezes. She slowly looks over her shoulder to find the rest of the Glee Club watching them with wide eyes.

"Oh, no, don't stop just because of us," Arty says.

"Yeah, you guys were just getting to the best part," Puck chimes in with a smirk.

Rachel just looks scandalized, her mouth hanging open. "Oh, my word!" she exclaims in her cheesy accent, placing a hand to her breast. Quinn rolls her eyes.

Santana buries her face against Brittany's neck and Brittany rubs her hands down her back soothingly, her shoulders shaking with silent laughter. Carefully, she maneuvers Santana to sit on the couch beside her, and then stands, still a little precariously.

"And on that note, we should probably be heading out. We have a lot of crime to fight," she says, posing again, though her costume is pretty rumpled and in her drunken state, it really doesn't have the same effect.

"Are you driving?" Mercedes asks, concerned.

Santana shakes her head, the gesture way larger than she thought it was. "Noooo. We'll call a cab."

"Safety first!" Brittany agrees with a heavy nod. She offers a hand to Santana. "Come, Robin!"

Santana climbs unstably to her feet, and collapses against Brittany, giggling. "To the Batmobile!" She stumbles a little, and Brittany reaches out a hand to steady her.

"Here, I'll carry you," Brittany laughs, crouching.

"Oh, wow, um, I don't think that's such a good idea…" Quinn trails, but when Santana hops up and wraps her legs and arms around Brittany's back, laughing, she just shakes her head.

"Remember kids- stay in school!" Brittany calls over her shoulder as she wobbles to the staircase. Then, as if she's cuing her own exit music, she starts singing the Batman Theme, and Santana joins in as they carefully ascend the staircase.

"Na na na na na na na na, BATMAAAAN!" they both scream as Brittany climbs the steps, wobbling only slightly with Santana perched on her back.

The party resumes behind them, their friends laughing as they fumble up the stairs slowly, still belting the lyrics.

"BATMAAAN!" Santana yells.

"BATMAAAN!" Brittany agrees.

"_BATMAAAAN_!" They both sing, erupting into giggles as they finally make it to the top of the stairs.

Santana wraps her arms tighter around Brittany, enjoying her warmth and the feeling of her so close. She rests her chin on Brittany's shoulder, pressing their cheeks together, and Brittany pauses.

"I think I just need to use the bathroom for a second," she says, lowering Santana to her feet.

"To the toilet!" Santana exclaims, and Brittany giggles at her terrible acting- like she's one to talk. They stagger down Rachel's hallway, opening various doors, trying to remember where the bathroom is, when they come upon the guest bedroom- which, luckily, has an ensuite bathroom attached.

They stumble in and Brittany goes into the bathroom while Santana sits down on the bed, then falls onto her back. She closes her eyes a moment, trying to get the world to stop spinning, but all she feels is elated and she can't stop smiling.

When Brittany comes out what seems like years later, still dressed in her Batman costume, Santana sits up a little, feeling extremely dizzy. She grabs Brittany's arm and pulls her close and into a drunken, sloppy kiss. They both smile and giggle against each other's lips as they make out, their tongues meeting, their lips slipping against each other's as they move their heads too much from the effects of the alcohol. It doesn't faze them. They just grin at each other.

When Santana reaches for Brittany's utility belt, Brittany pulls back. "Hold on." She stands up straighter and unclips the belt, letting it fall to the bed beside her. Santana reaches forward again, palming the dildo that's between Brittany's legs, tucked into her little shorts, and she's amazed that she didn't notice the hard appendage waaaay earlier. She wonders vaguely if anyone else did-

Santana feels around Brittany's body, liking the way her muscles feel beneath the gray spandex, but she'd like the way her skin feels even more. She lets her fingers search for a clasp, a zipper, an opening, _anything_- but she quickly grows frustrated at the seeming lack of entrance into Brittany's costume.

Instead, she reaches for her own. She feels like she's being consumed by a fire the longer Brittany kisses her, and it's a lot warmer upstairs than it was down in the basement. Her pulse pounds between her legs, and she's dying for Brittany to touch her. She struggles with her costume for a moment, becoming increasingly more irritated with it the longer she goes.

"How the fuck does he get out of this thing?" she grumbles, pulling back from the kiss to tug awkwardly on her sleeves.

"He doesn't," Brittany giggles with a laugh. "Imagine if you were wearing that Catwoman suit." She presses another hot kiss to Santana's mouth before she pulls her to her feet, then reaches to tug her tight, green- underwear?- down her bare legs. It falls around her ankles and Brittany raises a blonde eyebrow at Santana's lack of _actual_ underwear beneath her, uh-_underwear_.

"You wanted easy access," Santana purrs, leaning up to kiss up Brittany's jaw. "Besides, it was redundant wearing two pairs of underwear."

Brittany can't argue with her logic, and instead immediately reaches between Santana's legs, stroking through her already-soaked folds and over her hard clit. She lets out a heavy breath as Santana sinks teeth into her neck and begins sucking. Santana pants against Brittany's skin as her fingers continue to explore between her legs, and she reaches for her girlfriend's tiny shorts, tugging them down. They get caught on the dildo, though, and Santana lets out a sigh of frustration.

"Allow me, Robin," Brittany says, snapping back into character, and she carefully untangles the shorts from the strap-on and drops them down her legs, then peels her gray spandex tights down to her thighs, exposing the harness.

"Holy purple dildo, Batman," Santana giggles, wrapping her hand around the shaft. She pumps it a few times, and Brittany groans as the motion puts pressure on her sensitive clit. They kiss again, still sloppy but also more insistent, and Brittany reaches behind Santana to squeeze at her bare ass.

After long moments, she turns Santana and guides her to lean forward onto her hands on the bed, and Santana giggles at the thought that they are both completely still in costume- except for their pants.

She stops giggling when Brittany reaches under her and gathers some of her wetness with two fingers, then trails those fingers back over the opening of her ass. She shivers at the soft sensation, moaning.

"Mm, you've been such a good boy," Brittany purrs, pushing just the tip of her index finger into Santana's tight hole.

"Britt," Santana half-giggles, half-gasps. "It's _reeeally_ creepy when you do that."

"I'm not Britt. I'm Batman," Brittany reminds her, pushing her finger in deeper. Santana groans at the tight feeling.

"Right," she hums. She reaches behind her and finds the dildo attached to Brittany's hips, then strokes it a few more times, trying to work Brittany up as Brittany continues to finger her.

After a while, she can hear Brittany's gasps coming faster and heavier, and finally, the blonde says, breathlessly, "I'm going to fuck you in the ass, okay?"

Santana groans again as Brittany strokes inside her, causing bursts of pleasure, but it's a different kind of pleasure. "Can't you just fuck me normally? God, I want you so bad, Brittany…"

"Robin doesn't have lady bits, San."

Santana can't fault Brittany's logic once again, and she doesn't even care at this point, anyways. She's too turned on, and Brittany feels too good. Besides, it's not like they've never done it before- "Ugh, okay. Just give it to me."

She can practically hear Brittany's smile as the blonde presses a kiss between her shoulder blades, which she just barely feels through her cape and the rest of her costume. She lowers herself to rest on her elbows against the bed as Brittany moves to grab her utility belt, and begins digging through it.

After a few moments of fruitless searching, in which Brittany has completely emptied the contents of her utility belt- a Batarang, a bag of candy, another small bottle of alcohol, what looks like fireworks, two more condoms and a small pair of scissors lie strewn over the carpet- Brittany straightens up, holding a tiny bottle of lube, and Santana shakes her head.

Brittany is always prepared.

The blonde wastes no time in squirting some lube on her fingers, and then Santana gasps as Brittany enters her back entrance with two fingers, smearing the gelatinous liquid on it and inside her. Brittany carefully spreads her fingers, stretching her, and Santana feels her pleasure building already as Brittany continues to prepare her. She teasingly rubs the dildo through Santana's folds, nudging the head of it against Santana's hard, throbbing clit every so often, and Santana feels like she might come just from that, before Brittany even gets inside. The alcohol is making her feel super sensitive, and she wants Brittany so badly she's shaking.

Once Brittany's satisfied that Santana's ready, she reaches for a condom- _Batman's big on safety, Robin_- and rolls it on the purple dildo, then presses the head of it to Santana's ass.

Without prompting, Santana takes a deep, calming breath, and Brittany drives her hips forward slowly, sliding inside her. It barely hurts as Brittany pushes the head of the dildo past the tight ring of muscle, and then it feels _incredible_ as Brittany fills her up, inch by inch.

"Holy fucking _shit_," Santana gasps, and Brittany giggles.

Santana digs her fingers into the sheets, gripping them in her fists as Brittany starts to move fluidly behind her. The way Brittany rotates her hips has her crying out in ecstasy as she hits every single one of her spots. She's still feeling pretty wasted, but not in a bad way. She closes her eyes and focuses on the overwhelming pleasure of Brittany inside her, of Brittany filling her up in a familiar but still different way. The pleasure sparks through her, and it's so intense, she's not sure she can even handle it.

"Shh, San," Brittany grunts, gripping Santana's hips firmly as she thrusts hers forward, and suddenly Santana's very aware of how loud she's being. But she really couldn't care less. Especially not with the way Brittany's moving, or the way Brittany feels inside of her.

"I can't," Santana moans, pressing her cheek into the soft comforter and arching her back, giving Brittany a better angle. "You feel so fucking _good_-"

Brittany just laughs, a little breathless, as she continues to pound into her girlfriend. She rubs Santana's firm ass and watches the dildo move inside her, listening to the way Santana gets increasingly louder the closer she gets to her orgasm.

"Oh, _fuck_, Brittany, _harder_-!"

Brittany grins to herself as she complies, tightening her grip on Santana's hips to hold her steady. She's pretty sure everyone downstairs can hear them going at it, but if Santana doesn't care, then neither does she. If she could see herself, she'd probably laugh, or think they were in a cheesy, themed porn for nerds. She's almost in a full Batman costume, fucking _Robin_ in the ass. No one could ever accuse her of not being _authentic_.

"Oh my god, B! Right there!"

Brittany struggles to obey. She's working up a pretty good sweat- spandex isn't exactly the most _breathable_ material- and the muscles in her abs and legs are starting to burn with exertion, but she can feel her own orgasm on the horizon, and she knows Santana's close, too. Especially since her girlfriend's sentences have dissolved into just cries of pleasure- extremely _loud_ cries of pleasure.

When Brittany feels herself right on the edge, she hastily reaches underneath Santana, searching for her hard clit. She strokes it a few times and then feels Santana's entire body tense and arch beneath her as she comes hard, yelling Brittany's name loudly. The way Santana clenches around the dildo puts extra pressure on Brittany's clit as she moves, and it only takes a couple more thrusts before Brittany's coming, too, wrapping her arms around Santana's waist and pressing her upper body to her back as she bucks against her, the pleasure rolling through her body like a tidal wave.

She rests her forehead between Santana's shoulder blades, panting and listening to Santana struggle to catch her breath. When she feels like she can move again, she pulls her hips back, and Santana groans beneath her, collapsing completely to the bed.

"I don't know how they do any sort of physical activity in these costumes," Santana pants from her sprawled-out position on the sheets. Brittany slips the harness off and crawls onto the bed beside her, wrapping her arms around her loosely. She shuts her eyes, not even bothering to take off her mask.

"B," Santana groans. "We can't. We have to get home."

"Mmhm," Brittany mumbles sleepily. "Let's just take a nap."

Santana sighs, but doesn't object. She slides her eyes closed, and realizes that now they're _both_ not wearing any pants. She hopes nobody tries to come in. She definitely didn't lock the door.

As she drifts off to sleep, she can just faintly hear the notes of the _Monster Mash_ downstairs, playing for probably the hundredth time. And she smiles.

* * *

**And that's it!  
Review if you feel like it, but if not, that's okay! I hope you enjoyed the story! **

**I chose the **_**Monster Mash**_** as a theme in an attempt to explain why the song was on **_**Santana and Brittany's Infinite Playlist**_**. :') This is kind of my headcanon. I hope it can be for you, too! Those perfect bbs. :')**

**Also, if you'd like to hear the Batman Theme or see what their costumes looked like, this lovely video: **youtube dot com slash watch?v=1jgE-lrfZ3k** is a video of the 1960s Batman TV Show, which a lot of this fic (the costumes, the song, and a lot of Brittany's dialogue) was based off of. So. There's that. **

**I hope everyone has a safe and fun Halloween! **

**AND NOW A WORD FROM ~OFFICER SAFETY:**

**Anal is all fun and games. Until someone gets butthurt.**

**Obviously, Brittana have done anal before in this story, but if it's your first time, please do some research to make sure you don't fuck anything up in there (literally!) Those tissues are very sensitive and tear easily, so the last thing you want is to bleed out of your ass. Yikes. That's making me cringe just thinking about it! D:**

**As with any sex, BEING PREPARED IS KEY. Educate yourself on safety, cleanliness, and proper procedure. It's okay to be adventurous, but make sure you do it the right way! You don't want to be the asshole (lolololol) that has to go to the ER to get something removed from your ass. **

**Also, please don't drink and drive! EVER! Not only is it illegal and will ruin your life if you get caught, but that's the least of your worries. You could kill yourself, or worse, someone completely innocent! Don't be an asshole (lololol)! If you're going to drink, have a designated driver, or make plans to stay at the place you are at until you are sober enough to leave. **

**Everyone thinks they are "good enough to drive home" until they kill someone, or end up dead themselves. It's not worth it. **

**And you definitely don't want to be the person _I_ pull over for DUI. Because I promise you, you are not going to have a good night. **

**PLAY SAFE AND STAY SAFE! **


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